Note: schlazathon 2021 officially ended on December 13, 2021, but I do have a few wallets remaining. You’re more than welcome to contribute and I’ll do my best to send you a print, but it may not be your first choice. Thanks!

Hey there! Remember when I had my awesome photographer friend Betsy take pictures of me in my pandemic garb and then I mailed a bunch of you wallet prints and some gum? Check that link if you don’t recall. I had a blast hearing from many of you after you received your pictures, and if you were a recipient I hope it brightened your day.

It also encouraged me to look for other ways to be helpful In These Trying Times – providing a meal or care package to people having a hard time, donating to charities and GoFundMe campaigns, that sort of thing. And then Betsy was in town again a couple months ago, and folks, we did some more photographs.

walkin’ down the street to the hardcore beat while my JVC vibrates the concrete

My mother-in-law Rojanne and I share a passion for the Minnesota Twins. She gets all the giveaways every year and many of them end up in my possession, including an annual pair of zubaz and whatever that shirt I’m wearing in this photo is. I think the socks I’m wearing here are Twins branded as well.

The boombox has a story, too. I’ve always enjoyed thrifting, and some of the first stores I visited again live and in person after getting vaccinated in April were thrift stores. Alas, I didn’t find much, so at some point I started visiting Goodwill’s online auction website. The prices are a bit higher than in store, but it seems like all the stuff I’d actually want to buy is now getting diverted to the auction department, so I started checking new listings daily and watching some auctions. I ended up buying quite a few things over the past few months, including this lovely boombox. It does actually work, and even has an auxiliary input so you can play music on your phone through it, but it turns out that low-end, portable 80s audio amps are not exactly crisp sounding.

to use the aux input on this boombox you have to engage record on tape deck B

Anyway, I got the photos back from Betsy a few weeks ago and wasn’t sure what to do with them. At first I thought maybe I’d just throw a wallet print in with some of the Christmas cards we send out and see what kind of reaction I got, but then it occurred to me that maybe I could use them for something good, like some kind of fundraiser.

only one (1) person came by while we were shooting these and boy howdy was that awkward

When I was a kid there was an annual bike-a-thon for the lil’ private school I went to. The ice bucket challenge was a thing a few years back, and it raised a bunch of money for ALS research. Folks jump into frozen lakes every year for various causes, so maybe my cringe-inducing photos could also move the masses to act in a selfless, ridiculous way. Thus: schlazathon 2021!

it’s hard to find good help these days but bears BW (left) and Santa (right) are invaluable members of the schlazathon team

I absolutely do not want to actually handle your money, however. So the scheme I’ve come up with is that I will send you a wallet print for every donation you make to a charitable organization of your choosing. If you want, I’ll list your donation on the results page (no individual donor names, just the organization names, cumulative number of donors and amounts), so people who are looking for a charity can browse and see what other people who also think I’m funny (looking) are supporting.

My wife dislikes these glasses a great deal, but they are large and comfortable, so I wear them when she doesn’t have to look at me. I call these my “seeing glasses” and the ones that she prefers my “lookin’ glasses.”

I bet some of you work at or volunteer at non-profit charitable organizations. Thank you! I started my career working in Christian higher education, so I’m familiar with some of the sacrifices you make to help your organizations achieve their goals. If this is you, let me know where and how folks can donate to the organization, and I’ll add it to the donation gallery and send you a wallet print, too.

Also, the pandemic is still ongoing. Beyond the struggles many are having with the continued isolation that social distancing, quarantining, illness and death have brought upon us, some of us are struggling financially as well. If you’ve got a favorite organization that you would normally be donating to but aren’t able to right now, let me know and I’ll add it to the list so others might be able to instead. And I’ll send you a wallet print, too.

santa would prolly call the police if this elf showed up at the north pole

Been trying to find a Playstation 5 to give to your spoiled garbage children for Christmas? With all the shipping delays and stock shortages right now, it can be difficult to find that perfect gift. Make a donation in that special someone’s name in lieu of a gift this year, and you could also give them a hideous photograph of a man in Zubaz that maybe they’ve never met! Or keep the photograph for yourself and put me on your refrigerator. You will be reminded of that nice thing you did whenever you grab a cold beverage, and I will be happy knowing that my face is so near to your mayonnaise.

why am I the way that I am?

To commemorate this grand campaign, I’m going to make some ornaments (note: design subject to change). Everyone that contributes will get a chance to win one of these fine ornaments, and anyone who contributes $120 or more will secure a full set of wallet prints and the first 10 who do so are guaranteed an ornament. If you arbitrarily divide one hundred and twenty American dollars by the number of months in a year, that’s just $10 a month! I cannot guarantee that the ornament will become a collector’s item, but I cannot not guarantee it either.

If you’d like to see where others have donated before participating, go check out the donation gallery. Once you’ve made your donation (or if you’re participating in a different way) fill out the form to claim your wallet print!